


You can be my cure

by JaceOliver



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Castiel, Bullying, Dean is bottom (once), F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, Minor Character Death, Oral Sex, Poisoning, Slow Burn, Top Dean, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-04-16 03:11:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14155380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaceOliver/pseuds/JaceOliver
Summary: Sometimes things happen in our lives for a reason.For the talented Castiel Shurley this didn't work, with an absent father and irritating siblings there was no excuse to believe that his life would someday become better or fate awaited him something bigger. At least until Dean Winchester shows up and causes a never-before-seen storm inside him. And the love of both be taken by a series of challenges that prove that what they feel for each other cannot be measured, goes much more than any height that heaven can reach.Notes: This fanfic was created based on some movies, due to this if there is any similarity to another story, consider it as a reference.Among the stories that will be reported there are elements of Bridge to Terabithia and Always by your side.





	1. The new guy

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, nice to meet y'all.  
> I want to say that English is not my first language. It's Portuguese. And this fanfic was written in my mother tongue, but here I am using my power and knowledge to try to translate for you.  
> I hope you like it. I have to say some things. First, When I wrote this was 2016 and believe it or not in 20gayteen was when I definitely finished it.  
> I know what you guys are thinking about some couples. Lucifer and Sam??????? It's an AU, and Lucifer in my fanfic is a better character than Lucifer from spn will ever be. haha. To Sam, at least. I was not intending to give them a romance, but things happened.  
> (If you see any grammatical error please tell me in the comments and I'll try my best)  
> Thank you <3

There were two things that Castiel knew very well.

One was that he wanted to be the best runner among the students of his school and the other is that he had a passion for painting and drawing. When his feet were not running until they seemed to levitate in the air, they were pacing in his room thinking of the next art that would fill the papers with his imagination. And that particular morning, with the clock ticking five o'clock, his feet were doing the first option. Castiel forced himself to run, even though his lungs and diaphragm complained of pain, he wouldn't stop, not until he beaten his record. He needed to win the marathon this month to be termed the fastest in high school.

He put his hands on his knees, breathing heavily as he reached the front of his house. A small and old wooden  _thing_ with a large garden and a greenhouse. His father planted organic vegetables and fruits to sell as extra income for the family - only his salary from work couldn't cover the expenses of his five children, so always after the date of the harvest, he would gather what he had and leave early the house to sell.

It was hard times, and Castiel knew better than his brothers when his father was going through it.

"Castiel is stinking!" Michael blurted, covering his nose with his fingertips as his brother sat down at the breakfast table. Milk with cereal and honey, at least Castiel could afford to have homemade honey, supermarkets were too expensive and he loved it. Chuck who was giving food to Raphael, his one-year-old brother, looked at him, but then went back to what he was doing.

As always.

"You're so fussy. You don't even look like you're seventeen." Lucifer said pouring orange juice into his glass, but spilling a little on the table as he pulled the box from Michael's hand "Why do you cover your nose like that, could you be more gay?"

"I said. Cas is smelly! And shut your ass, the only gay here is you." Michael waved his hand in front of his face, glaring at Cas who was breathing heavily on the table, still tired from the race. His eyes wandered over it. There were six people counting with him, but it seemed to be sixty of how noisy it was. Sometimes all he wanted was to mute everyone like those silent movies, except his father.

He already seemed to have the power button pressed down for a millennium now, from time to time Chuck stepped forward and said something... It was rare, though.

"Clean up before class." was one of them, for example. The only thing Chuck said before he caught Raphael in his arms and stepped out of the kitchen. Cas quickly swallowed breakfast, carried the bowl and washed his and his brothers' dishes, which they simply threw into the sink and ran.

_All brats._

He really needed a shower, though. He took off all of his clothes and put them in the washing machine that, you believe or not, was next to the shower - it was already well worn, with rust marks in the middle and sides due to the humidity of the place, of course. - The water barely went out and it was scorching, the piping had warmed because of the heat of the sun.

It would be perfect for winter, but now it was too hot for a steamy shower. He took a few jumps before his skin became used to the burning. A song filled the ambient coming from an old radio on the outside of a top hung window above his head. It might be a bit deep for a sunny morning, but Cas liked songs like that. Actually, he was eclectic, he listened to everything. And this particular one was telling a story.

Chuck had the same musical taste of Cas, he was even singing at that moment, at least this way he could have a connection with his father.

Through notes and melodies.

He hummed and finished taking the shampoo out of his hair, turning off the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist. He glanced at himself in the mirror of his bedroom that he shared with his younger brother, Gabriel. The dripping hair on his face, bare chest.

He wasn't ugly, but he wasn't handsome either. That's what he thought. Every time he faced himself in the mirror, a new drama filled his mind.

_What was wrong with him? Why wasn't he one of those good-looking bad-boys going out with tons of girls in an expensive car? Was what his father would like? Talking about relationships? Why had he been born that way?_

"What are you doing, Cas?" Gabriel asked, embracing him as the music on the radio stopped abruptly, possibly by Lucifer who hated those little girls songs. Castiel jumped when his brother grabbed his legs and tried to pull out his towel. For almost a thousandth he succeeded, but Castiel turned his body and pulled the towel back.

" _Can you not?_ It's not right, Gabe." He sat down on the bed, folding the towel in his lap, all to keep Gabriel from pulling again. His brother giggled. Cas was red, he hated to expose himself like that.

Great.

"The bus is coming. Dad asked to warn you!"

Castiel got up from the bed to his closet - and Gabe's as well - millions of torn clothes fell as he opened the door. He sighed as he threw a navy t-shirt with sleeves up to his elbows, jeans, underwear and a pair of socks on the bed. The t-shirt was still in a good condition, the pants instead had a hole in both pockets and left knee. If they asked, Cas would say it was the model. 

Of all the pieces of his clothing. The one that was most troubling him was his shoes, he tried to glue the soles with normal glue, which hadn't worked very well. When he'd finished putting his pants on, his father came into the room holding a box.

"Castiel," Chuck said roughly. The boy was startled by the sound of his voice, for a second he thought he had done something wrong and a mix-up of fear and surprise loomed over his body "I noticed the state of your shoes and got those for you."

A smile spread across his face. For the first time, his father had at least cared a little about him. In fact, he imagined that his father cared, he just couldn't change how he was. Cas was afraid that Chuck could read his thoughts since he tended to be a little controversial on a number of subjects, especially his sexuality. It was a nightmare he kept for himself. From Chuck knowing everything. Whatever his father might find. From time to time he had nightmares about Chuck rubbing some truth into his face... And the fact that he was distant with him only made the fear well fed.

Chuck lifted the box towards him, and when Cas opened it he visualized a pair of brand new shoes.

"Pink?" He asked arching an eyebrow. For this, he didn't expect. The shoes were at least from a good brand. "It's from Raphael's nanny's daughter. Jo's foot is small, but it's your size. It's brand new! And look..." He began pointing at a particular part as Cas was thinking if he liked the gift or not "it's white with pink stripes and not the other way round, no one will notice."

Cas almost complained. He almost acted like his spoiled brothers as if somehow that would change the reality. He almost asked for another pair, but instead nodded, his head down and put them on. He wasn't his father's model son. He had to at least avoid doing things that would irritate him. The shoes suited him well and the pink was nothing. Pink was just a colour.

But everyone was going to say something, every single one.

Including his brother Lucifer who sniffed gay stuff miles away. And no matter what school year you are, whether it's middle school or high school, you're always going to have a jerk to make it the worst year of your life. A rule for life: Of assholes, this world is full.

Lucifer was only a few months older than Castiel and they had a lot of classes together. He even ran in the _unofficial school's marathon_ too, as usual.

This was a torment. 

First that his parents at some point of madness or insanity had given the child the name of the devil, at least that's what the bible or some religions say. How the register office accepted this name remains a mystery. His parents seemed to have a lot of biblical names to give their children, and Lucifer only had the luck to catch the worst. That should already be the answer for how he was. With his peaked light-blond hair, his rebellious habits, he walked down the hallways as if leading a troop of demons.

It was incredible how the atmosphere of the school changed when his brother came in through the front door. Not even Michael was so perverse, Michael was a saint compared to Lucifer. The only thing that made up those terrible moments was that from next year he would be far away in a good college, away from the terrible brothers and from the absent father.

"Hey there, little brother. Did you get Daddy's new shoes? It had to be pink. Matches your flowery personality." Speaking of the devil. Castiel rolled his eyes, ignoring the comment. The jerk had to piss him off every time.

"You act like we're not brothers." Some of the students who were passing through even stopped to look at Lucifer, who was very popular, especially with  _girls_. 

That was one of the things that Castiel despised. Lucifer getting more attention both at school and at home simply by exhaling the alpha-male smell. A scent that attracted even the boys who also loved to be his friend. Who wants to become buddies with a guy who in the blink of an eye is going to slap you or put a foot to see you fell down? Who wants to make a pact aka deal with him? There are people in this world for everything.

"I'm your brother, but I don't have to put up with you. You have this face of-" he shook his hands in an exaggerated way, biting his lip "bullying target." And saying that, he pushed Castiel away crossing the door of the classroom first. Cas walked up to his desk and his brother sat behind him. Bad luck following him? Perhaps.

"What's next? Pink panties?" He whispered in Cas' ear.

"Only if it's yours."

"What did you say?"

Cas loved playing with danger. Especially with the winner and protected of the last month. At that moment the teacher arrived in his wheelchair and hammered an iron ruler on the board. Just the usual. All the students were quiet, only Lucifer shrugged, looking back, snorting some incomprehensible answer. The teacher always did this, a big classy entry.

Cas curled up in his chair and followed the look of his brother who was lingering behind.

"Who is he?" Cas muttered.

There was a boy sitting next to the window. Cas hadn't noticed before because Lucifer pestering him was too much of a mental strain to worry about mundane things. His brother grinned, his mouth opening and the pen with the chewed cap touched his lips.

"New Toy" he was almost licking the pen.

Knowing his brother so well, Castiel imagined that Lucifer was already thinking about drowning the boy's poor face into a toilet. He watched the mysterious guy more firmly. Evaluating him from the bottom to the top, stopping at his face an extra time. 

_What the hell am I doing?_

"Well, as you can see your idjts, we have a new student. I'm not a fan of presentations, but I bet the kid is, don't you, Mr Winchester?"

The English teacher was one of the best despite appearing harsh and having a weird craze to call the students "idjts". He could turn any class into a perfect work of Shakespeare or Stephen King depending on his mood. It was almost as if Castiel and all the students were in college now and not just in high school, they even joked that Singer was Xavier from X-men, but no one ever complained about him and he also never felt rudely offended, it was his instinct to make jokes and his teaching method was fantastic. He being violent talking was the least. They called him old drunk man also because he dressed in a very peculiar way. One day he was dressed in a suit and tie and another in a team's cap and shirt. The students only saw him really happy on the first and last day of school, which was at least curious.

Castiel dropped the pencil he held on the edge of the table, and just like him, every face turned to the new figure rising from his chair. The boy had dark _blondish_  hair and wore clothes that Cas at the same time thought were the _I'm rich, bitch_ type. Branded clothes, only the leather jacket was worth at least twice his.

"My name's Dean Winchester. I'm an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women"

Oh, sure. A chick's hunter. Certainly. Cas grunted too loudly. Dean heard him. _Damn it!_

"All right, Mr Winchester. No need to share details but, you can sit down now!" said Singer laughing like half of the class. Dean sat back in his chair still looking at Cas.

None of them looked away and Dean smiled faintly at him. Lucifer choked a naughty laugh. He could already imagine his brother implying this story later. As it was said, Lucifer sniffed strange things. He felt at the same moment something forming in the pit of his stomach, like what he feels when he's moving too fast on a hill, a breeze or slightly fall. 

Dean looked behind him, where his brother Lucifer was throwing rubber bands on his classmates. Very childish. Castiel only knew it because it was what his brother loved to do, torturing every person in the room with his stupid jokes and because he glanced at him too.

"Hey!" Cas complained when he felt the pain in the back of his neck. He rubbed the area hit by the rubber band only for Lucifer to laugh even more.

"Why you don't take a picture? Lasts longer."

Cas could feel his cheeks heating up. His brother had no right to talk to him like that. He was just looking because Dean was looking back. He was just curious, nothing more.

"How about I take a picture of your porn magazines and show them to Dad?" Lucifer snorted, leaning back in his chair.

" _Touché_ , my dear! But I'm not afraid of Chuck."

"It's dad, not Chuck. Honestly... Then you complain when he stays by Michael's side at whatever shit problem that comes up concerning you two."

"At least he chooses me for something."

Castiel grunted, pushing his desk away from his brother. He hated talking about Chuck. That's because his father was a bit _reactionary_ when the topic comes to Cas and he looked at his son as if every one of his moves were wrong. That famous nightmare of Chuck giving up on him. Cas had to take a deep breath without looking at Dean again. The only thing that helped was that he was sitting behind him. The rest of the class passed in slow motion. He was able to fill ten sheets with drawings. They were all very ironic. His brother Lucifer in a cage, the desolate look while he was holding the iron bar and a speech balloon written 'Castiel, it's all your fault'. A funny look sprouted from his face, laughing at his own drawings, that was for few. He drew himself running through the trees, drew his teacher sitting at the table reading, Dean with his hands on his chin looking at the window. The boy had just arrived and had already turned three pages of Cas's sketchbook.

How unusual. No one had earned the pleasure of making him spend more than a leaf, especially since it was expensive and a gift from his mother.

"Class!" said the teacher removing the cap from his marker "Tomorrow bring an essay about an activity that you have already practised. It could be fishing, hunting, some sport... But please try to put some emotions in it. What did you learn while doing it? What it made you feel? Peace? Angryness? Happiness?" He wrote on the board and Castiel passed down to his notebook quickly in an almost incomprehensible handwriting. He would remember anyway later. He had a good memory.

Cas bent down to put the sketchbook in his backpack, he wasn't going to make it visible for anyone to pick up, Dear Lord. Just the thought of Lucifer seeing his drawings already sent chills all over his body. Dean bumped into his head while he was passing, sent a quick sorry and ran out of the door with his cell phone.

There was something on Dean's face that made Castiel curious, it was a look of someone super amused. As if the person he was going to talk was the most important one in the world. Castiel cursed himself inside. This feeling of happiness when calling someone. Haha. He couldn't do this even with his family, imagine with someone he likes. He tried to get rid of the post-handsome-newbie-curiosity and tried to focus on the marathon instead.

He wanted to be the best and today a marathon which the high school took very seriously - especially the senior year - was going to occur. Usually, this was on the sports court, it was not that big, but it already made half of the students in the school interrupt their schedule and act like it was some world tournament.

And the main prize? Kiss the most popular girl of the moment and maybe even date her. Well, this and be considered the fastest guy in high school without counting on other advantages like being the leader and protected of the month and no one can rest a finger on you. Not without losing blood, at least. The school wasn't aware of the bullying, they probably thought it was just a bunch of teens spending time in extracurricular activities. Cas didn't want to win to kiss Lisa, that was far from being a real prize for him. Lisa was beautiful, but her behaviour with the boys was too much to Cas. Well, that and the fact that he wasn't attracted to her or any girl. Castiel just wanted to be taken seriously by everyone and his brother. He was sure that as soon as he won from Lucifer he would never be fooled again. He had even visualized in his head the exact moment that he passed the finish line and how his brother would treat him with the divine respect he deserved.

"You know how it works, don't you? Every month there is a race and every month the main prize changes. This time our dear Lisa was willing to be the chosen one. It's been three months that Lucifer has the lead so what I ask of you is..."

A noise cut off Michael's speech. He was the judge, he prefers a thousand times hold a whistle than have to run. He didn't like to fight with Lucifer knowing so well that he was going to lose and that was exactly what would happen if he decided to say yes to the competition. Lucifer took a quarrel very seriously. Michael looked away to somewhere alongside Cas. A guy had thrown his backpack over the two meters iron grid. Looking sideways Cas noticed it was Dean. He climbed to the side of the runners without even having problems, as if jumped fences every day.

"Do you have a spot left?" Cas lowered his face, trying to focus on the start, which seemed to him, increasingly far from happening.

" _Rookie_ , I think you're out. Better wait 'til next month!" Dean crossed his arms in front of his chest, logically astounded by Michael's ignorance.

"I'm sure there's room for one more."

Cas ran his hand over his viscous forehead, he wanted to run, and this confusion about Dean was stirring his nerves.

"No. You're just going to mess things up." Lucifer hollered, lifting his body from the start position and touching his chin quickly to wipe away the sweat.

This day was hot like no other. The sun was worsening Cas's condition, he should know that coming up with that kind of clothing up to his elbows would be a problem.

"Lucifer, are you afraid of losing to a newbie?" Dean chuckled after Cas's confrontation. His leather jacket hitting the grass. This time Cas _had_ to look at him. He was raising his arms, it was the famous pre-race stretching.

"Whatever, you won't win."

Dean stretched out his legs and positioned himself next to Cas. Dean's hands touched the orange ground a few inches away from Cas' hand. And even from a distance, he knew what that meant. Dean had run before, that position was from someone experienced and that made him sweat more than he already was. As Dean stared straight ahead, Cas who must have been doing the same thing seemed to found Dean's face more relevant. The same breeze in his stomach that he felt in the classroom.

_I'm so stupid._

"Good luck," Dean whispered at the same time the whistle sounded. Cas almost staggered because of the pitch of Dean's voice, but he shuffled his feet and jumped for speed. Following quickly one after the other, his mouth closed as he was trying to keep pace with his stride. He was soon in third behind Lucifer and another runner. There was still time to pass. Cas enlarged his steps, the sweat on his face and the hot weather making him a bit asthmatic, but nothing he hadn't dealt with before. When he drew distance with Lucifer, a smile escaped from his face. He didn't want to count victory before the time, but he was at full throttle.

He could beat his brother, he could be considered the fastest in high school. It was a matter of only a few yards... If it weren't for a small problem at his right. Dean overtook Lucifer and Cas in less than five seconds. No one had counted on him, everyone had underestimated him. Lucifer even stopped running, stunned by the rookie's quickness. Castiel still continued and only managed to reason that he had lost when he passed in second place at the finish line. Dean fell to the floor, his black t-shirt covered with sweat as well as his short fringe glued to his forehead. His mouth was open and he was breathing in and out heavily. Castiel put his hands on his knees, stopping next to him.

"You've run before, haven't you?" He snorted between breaths. He used his arm to wipe a sweat from his chin. Dean waited another few seconds and lifted his body with his elbows on the floor.

"Not exactly" he answered. Cas's eyes widening.

"Don't be so modest. You even knew the stretching" Dean smiled mischievously. The same grin as when he introduced himself to the class.

"I was just mirroring you."

"You never ran, then?"

"I never said that. I run sometimes, but I never trained." He sat on the floor. Legs again in a stretching position.

_He's mocking me. If he never trained how does he know what to do after?_

All other participants were exhausted. Michael, who was sitting on the bench, was still looking surprised at Dean. He had to clear his throat several times to get back to himself.

"So it seems we have a winner, you can take your prize, Dean."

The guy got up from the floor, wiping his pants with the palm of his hand, slapped Cas's shoulder lightly and headed in the direction where his backpack and jacket were lying. From the bleachers, Cas heard screams of Lisa and her two friends.

"He's going to kiss you, Lisa!" They pushed gently the foolish girl. Dean again climbed the grid - the entrance to the sports court was on the other side, far away, it was much easier on his way. - And he passed in front of Lisa flirting with her and leaving soon after. That was enough for her to start gasping with her friends.

"How lucky!" they squealed "He's a real knockout."

Cas clenched his jaw, it was _phenomenal_ , the guy was getting all the girls just winking at them with those stupid green eyes, barely getting into this _fucking_ school. Cas glanced at his brother, he was cursing who knows what, Lucifer hated to lose and this definitely made Cas's day a little better, but not enough to make him go back to the room after the end of the break. The last thing he needed was to see his father's face, even if it was one of his favourite classes because it didn't involve calculations or exercises. It was music class. Maybe this class was one of the only times Chuck talked to his son more than at home. Of course with all the teacher-student barrier linked to this.

The sun was now hidden, but the sweat had already spread all over his shirt. He seemed to have come out of a steam room. One more reason to not go back to the classroom, he was a mess.

"Hi, I'm Dean Winchester, I like frisky women and I'm going to beat all of you with my stupid and beautiful green eyes. Ah! Gimme a break!" Cas pulled the synthetic grass and threw it into the air. The wind blowing and making it float for a few seconds. A clatter of footsteps ripped him away from his daydreams. Fear taking his body, maybe it was some teacher passing, and if they saw him out of the classroom he could already say goodbye to someday get respect from his father. He ran off jumping the grid just as Dean had done earlier, of course almost tripping on the way and falling. He only relaxed when he was already hidden between the bleachers. His hands touching the wood seat, his face between the space from one bench to the other. He was definitely a spy or something like that. The person was one of his teachers. She was hurrying along with a student who was bleeding from his nose. Poor guy. Cas took a deep breath, leaning his forehead against the wood, and he held his breath until he heard a moan.

This one was an extremely inopportune sound. Cas's mouth closed in despair. Some couple was hiding to make out during class, great... This is was what he needed, hiding in the make-out spot of the students. He despised this place, but it was either going in there or being picked up by the teacher. He could still see that there were carved hearts on the wood.

"Your kiss is great" replied a female voice. It was Lisa. He was sure, only she would own that melancholy voice. Holy shit. Cas turned his face as if a rope pulled him toward the sound. Dean Winchester was there. He held the girl's chin up toward her mouth and the other hand was inside her shirt touching possibly one of the girl's boobs.

"I could not let such a beautiful prize be wasted." She put both hands on his neck smoothly.

"You can stop treating me like a prize." Lisa shoved his hand away as Dean returned a fatal and seductive blink. "That was just in the race, call me Lisa."

"Okay, I'm sorry, Lisa." He laughed, moving away from her. A rather long pause. "Do you want to go out with me?"

"Much better now," she replied. Dean smirked excitedly. 

"My brother always said I should get a girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? Dean, I met you today." She gave him a little chuckle as she stroked his face and twisted his body until they were both leaning against one of the bleachers' metal supports. "Am I so cool that you want to already date me?"

Cas laughed. He didn't want to, but Lisa was too much for him to keep his mouth shut. His eyes enlarged as he tried to hide between the gap that separated him from being seen, descending slowly to the ground shrinking his legs.

"Lisa, I think you better go back to class. Your going to the bathroom is taking longer than usual." Dean kissed her again and she reluctantly seemed to walk away, not without shouting "Weekend. Surprise me. I love surprises."

Cas waited for Dean to leave. He was even praying for him to go away, but his steps were increasing. Cas swallowed as a head sprouted in the gap and stared at him.

"Hey, Stalker."

"Shit." Cas jumped from the floor almost hitting his head. Dean walked over to stand beside him, one hand holding one of the supports that held the bleachers, the other hovering around his waist.

"I was hiding... From a teacher, I didn't mean to see you."

"Admit you like to see."

Cas' heart was racing and his voice faltered when he tried to answer Dean. Make a fool of himself was the worst feeling. He was already getting ready to leave when Dean grabbed his wrist.

"I was kidding. I don't want us to start off on the wrong foot. Let me introduce myself again." Cas felt his head spinning and his stomach curled up. "Dean Winchester, nineteen, I'm from Kansas, I have a younger brother named Sam and you?"

"Castiel, eighteen. I have five brothers. I'm from here and you?

"Already told you," Dean giggled, making Cas's cheeks blush, he wanted to hide covering it with his hands, but his wrist was still being held by Dean's hand. Not even talking to people he served "Anyway, Castiel... What are you really doing here?"

"I'm asking you the same thing."

Dean snorted with a smirk on his face and let go Cas's wrist that composed his posture by putting his hands in his pockets. He was not very comfortable in that place. It was for couples, if someone caught them, gossip would hang around. It was mostly Lucifer.

"Lisa told me to come here"

"I didn't want to see my father"

"Your father?" Dean raised an eyebrow. Cas shrugged, he hadn't noticed what he had just said. "My father is the music teacher, Chuck Shurley."

"So you're Castiel Shurley?"

"Castiel Novak Shurley, actually, Novak was from my mother's." Dean signed, scratching his chin. Cas didn't talk much about his mother, she had died soon as Raphael had been born, leaving Chuck heartbroken for almost a year, sometimes Chuck still seems to miss her. But Cas? he really deeply misses her. A lot. Sometimes it even hurts him physically from so much pain. The sketchbook was the last gift he got from her. He still remembers her smile when she called him a true artist and that he should follow his dreams and not let anyone stop him.

"Are you not really going to class?" He asked and Cas shook his head negatively. "Oh, it's a shame, I will. I still have time to meet your father."

"What?"

"I want to understand why you don't want to see him. He must be horrible." Dean shrugged a little and turned his back to Cas. His heart missed a beat, he was worried about what Dean might find out. Not that the guy would simply ask his father if he was doing him any harm. He wasn't. Not for a long time, at least. He didn't want to say this about his father, just opening up to a complete stranger wasn't a good idea. Talking his secrets to people would eventually cause some disturbance in his life.

"Look, it's not a big deal, it's just that he sometimes can be a little rough. Don't take what I say too seriously."

Dean kept walking and waved bye to him. Cas snorted, going the opposite way, putting his hands in his pockets and feeling the hole inside them, it was the most useless pockets he had.

Great, Dean was going to evaluate his father now. Congratulations Cas, you deserve an award.

 


	2. Neighbor

Cas spent all his time in hiding in school and just got out to get on the school bus, it would be so good if he had money to drive, but that reality was far from happening. He passed a group of students and sat quickly next to Gabriel to avoid talking to Dean. He could also get a ride with his father since he was the music teacher, but the work schedule didn't coincide with his and his brothers' time so they all took the school bus. Although if he had to see his father after killing his own class, he could already dig his own grave because Chuck would kill him with his eyes. Dean came in shortly after and passed next to Cas sitting two benches behind him, near Lisa who smiled and waved. Cas rolled his eyes instinctively, he didn't want to sound so annoying, but Lisa was gettin on his nerves.

She was all perfect. Dark hair that curled up at the end of her back, dark skin, a lined smile. She was wearing a yellow dress that gave her skin a sun-drenched tone, different from Cas' skin that reminded of a blizzard compared to hers.

Obviously the boys would want to be with her. It was a fact. Boys go after the best of the litter.

"Cas! Cas! He won the race? Are they dating now?" Gabriel asked jumping and tugging his arm tightly as Castiel opened his sketchbook and began to scribble ignoring his brother and Lisa and Dean's conversation.

"Your hair smells like oak, Dean."

"Ah... Thank you, dear"

_Ugh._

It was not because he was jealous, it would be ridiculous of him to feel jealously of a boy he barely knows. It was just that Cas hated that feeling of being alone. One hundred percent alone, even his family was not exactly what he wanted... It was sad to even think of that. How could certain people escape so easily from solitude and find happiness in a blink of an eye?

"What are you drawing?" Gabriel asked finally sitting like a normal person. Cas grinned. He didn't like people talking about his drawings, he was ashamed, but for some reason Gabriel's sudden maturity and seriousness made him happy.

"I'm trying to get ideas for my homework. I'm thinking about things that I like and activities that I did in the past... I guess I'll talk about when I did a painting to the church." He went through some used pages and Gabriel to his desperation took the notebook from his hand.

"This is the new boy?" _Denny_!" He exclaimed Dean's name wrong. "And this is Lucifer?" Michael? That's me?"

His brother was practically screaming the names on the bus. Cas pulled the notebook from Gabriel's hand, but with too much force. It slipped away and flew to Lucifer's head who was very close to them. He looked at Cas and Gabriel with a deep hatred on his face, but noticing what had hit him a smile took over.

" _Well, Well, Well_... My brother's drawings." He twirled his notebook like a basketball. Cas gritted his teeth. "What a treasure I have here. Thanks, Gabriel!"

Lucifer began to leaf through it without even bothering to knead some leaves. Castiel was controlling himself. It was the sketchbook that his mother had given to him and Lucifer was treating it like crap.

"How beautiful is Dean's picture, Castiel." He opened the page that Cas had drawn of Dean at class and showed it to the human model. "Look newbie, my brother is your fan!"

Dean who had his arm slung over Lisa's shoulder and was listening to music turned his head at the same moment.

"Did you do that?"

"Yes, but I draw everyone. You're not special." Cas lifted and pulled his notebook hard from Lucifer's hands. He was too red, too embarrased, too angry. many _too_  at the same time. Some leaves were ripped off and fell to the floor.

Now it was the last straw. He really hated his brothers. When he finally thought someone was mature in that family, they soon proved him wrong. Even Gabriel, who was still a child. And children could be the worst.

The bus stopped and Cas waited all his brothers to get out and then he get up and walked to the exit. Hatred still reverberating through his body. Dean got up from the bench too and followed him. Confused, Cas kept glancing back at him. The bus left, and Cas was still confused.

" _Excuse me_... Are you following me?"

"I live there and you left my drawing behind." Dean held up one of the drawings for him, and half-disbelievingly, Cas took the paper from his hand and tucked it into his backpack awkwardly.

The house Dean had pointed out was exactly on the side of his. Two floors and a big entrance. The last owners didn't have what you could call apple pie life. The Mills family. Cas talked to the woman who lived there once. Jody Mills was the sheriff and it was rumored that her son killed her husband and then committed suicide. She moved away. After this catastrophic event, Cas heard no more of her. He was twelve at the time and no one wanted to move there since. Homes where people had died were never seen with good eyes. People believed that they could bring bad energy or spirits... And now there was Dean saying that his parents had bought it.

"My parents got a good price on it. They practically gave it to us."

"Of course! A boy of our age killed his father in it."

Dean shifted his backpack into his back not really surprised about the past of his new house. Cas looked at him waiting for something. Anything. His head tilting at the side of his head. _Serious? he was really chatting with the lord-conqueror-of-girls and also from today his neighbor?_

"Got it" He whispered more to himself than to Cas. They walked side by side the rest of the way in silence. Cas' brothers had practically flown to home. There was no sign of Gabriel. When Cas spotted his house Dean sent him a _'see yah'_ and ran to his parents.

A blond woman in a flowered dress and hair tied in a ponytail was cutting a bush. She had gardening skills. All the trees and bushes were cutted into an almost a piece of art. And a man with black-gray hair messed up Dean's hair by handing him a glass of lemonade. And there was the apple pie family, the commercial family. He was envy, a ugly chilling on his stomach. He wanted to be a part of that family or at least he wished from the bottom of his heart that his family was like them. That he had someone who cared about him, but the most he could get was a distant look from his father or a clumsy hug from Gabriel. He sighed as he headed to the front of his house.

Cas didn't see Dean staring at him the rest of the way until he came in through the door of his house, if at least he had seen it...

Dean's house and Cas' were separated only by the yard of almost ten meters, which if you think wasn't too much. The entrance to Dean's house had walls covered with climbing plants which Cas thought looked like an old castle. He even got to draw it. Dean's mother as a beautiful queen with long blond hair. The father, a strong and fearless king and Dean, the charming prince ~~who liked girls and boys and by that he meant him~~. Pff.

And the plot twist of this particular story is that the castle was haunted and Dean was the one who had to save his family, but Cas didn't go much more than that.

"Why did I draw this?" Cas ripped out the sheet out, he could not leave the drawing there. It was not safe. He crushed and tore the drawing for the sake of his dignity, what was left after Dean discovered he was drawing him. Cas fell onto the bed, his arms tightening on the sketchbook and his messy hair falling lightly close to his eyes. He needed to write something. He stared at the ceiling for what seemed like ten minutes until he had some ideas. He could write about a race his brother, Lucifer was going to do, or anything related to drawing, but he really wanted to talk about the painting he did for a church once. Cas found the paintings on the roof of the church that he and his family were very interesting and whenever he could he was drawing them sitting on one of the benches there. They were, according to the priest, very old.

The church itself was old, so when one day the priest asked him to paint one of the walls. He couldn't help but be very happy to be part of something so _divine_. No one knew who had painted that work of art. Only him, the priest and his mother, not even his father knew. For all those people who went to that church, the painting had been done by some professional artist. Revealing who could end all the magic and even be very dangerous if they found out more about the artist, his beliefs and _sins_ that the religion uttered about people like him. But that was it or make some boring essay...

Cas had already decided the theme of his text and he could care less about if people were going to mess up with him.

The next day he got ready early, put all his stuff in his backpack, put on the pink shoes he had subtly scratched with a black marker brush, swallowed a toast and a hasty juice and got on the bus, pulling his headphones out of his pockets and looking out the window. This time Gabriel was not by his side, he might still be remorseful about yesterday's sketchbook scene and tired for his joy.

Dean almost lost the bus, he walked around looking at all the empty seats, it had several, but he sat next to Cas who was still listening to music pretending to be natural after being aware of Dean's presence.

Dean didn't open his mouth, they didn't look at each other either. Nothing. In fact it was strange. Everyone on the bus was talking and Dean and Cas were silent. Perhaps it was the sleep still controling their bodies.

"What are you listening?" Dean finally asked, breaking the silence and the wall of ice around them.

"Music" Cas answered catching a soft laugh from Dean. "I don't think you'll like it."

Dean stretched out his palm to Cas who looked for a few seconds before putting one side on his hand. Dean settled into the seat and put it on his ear, trying listening to the song. He spent a whole minute just there in silence.

"The lyrics are a little depressing, but I kinda liked it." Cas was surprised that he didn't return the earphones. He just leaned his head back on the bench and closed his eyes as the chorus reverberated. The way Dean was breathing and the small drop of sweat made Cas remember the school's race. He watched Dean's back completely athletic and then he exhausted on the floor of the lane breathing heavily.

Indecent thoughts haunted him. It was what he needed (not to say the opposite).

He gave a mischievous little smile until Dean spoke again

"It's good to relax. I'm more of a rock type, but I'm always open to new songs." Cas didn't even know what to say so he looked around trying not to catch Dean's face. He was imagining him shirtless, sweaty and breathing deeply until a few minutes ago...

Shit. 

It didn't help him to maintain himself as a decent person. At least, that day no one seemed to be giving a damn about him or who he was talking to, not for the moment, it was as if Dean had created a bubble of invisibility between them. Neither did Lucifer stare at them, it seemed almost a dream, a little daring, perhaps.

_Was he dreaming?  No, It was too real._

His stomach was filled with the breeze. He was ashamed that Dean was listening to his favorite songs. It was that feeling of when you are going to show a drawing to someone important and expect criticism from the person. Cas was nervous and he had already received a positive comment from Dean, he could relax, but easier said than done, uh?

At least the best of all this was that Lisa wasn't there. She only comes when she can't get a ride with one of her rich friends.

"Are you really enjoying the songs? I know they aren't rock classics and they probably don't play often on the radio or whatever-"

"I said I liked it. Once I was taking a subway in my old town and a woman was playing a Taylor Swift's song. Wow, that sounds questioning, but I still sing it everytime I listen." Cas laughed.

That was unexpected.

"Why are you telling me this?"

Dean laughed still with his eyes closed, his head turning towards Cas who felt Dean's breathing on his face. He was like... desperate now. It's like Dean makes him shake, his body resonating with every touch or approximation.

" _Dunno_. It's fun to make other people laugh" The laughter faded a little from his lips. Castiel arched an eyebrow trying to figure out why out of nowhere Dean was quiet.

"What happened?" He asked.

Dean pulled out the earphone and Cas thought he was going to give it back, but he just kept holding it.

"I just remembered my brother. I used to tell him lots of jokes. He didn't laugh most of the time."

"Where's your brother? I mean, I didn't see him yesterday" Dean put the phone back on, they were approaching the last stop before school.

"He's studying in London. My brother is very intelligent, he also makes mistakes like everyone else, but overall he is very nice. He's fifteen now."

"My brothers are a pain in the ass. The only one who seems to have salvation is Gabriel." Cas answered speaking lower so that none of them could listen.

"Your brothers are great Castiel. Ever tried to ask them why they do these things with you?

"I'm alone in this. They wouldn't listen to me, I just want to graduate and get out of here. Even my father can not stand me."

Castiel noticed that the songs of his mp3 - ancient by the way, who still has one of these? - had stopped playing. Again he had told personal things to a _stranger_. Dean returned the earphone and he put it in his backpack. The bus parked and the students got off. Cas eventually distanced himself from Dean because Miss Lisa Braeden arrived and wanted to show off her beautiful boyfriend to all of the school. Boyfriend according to who exactly? 

He just stared as they walked off as if they were famous.

They even had idiots taking pictures of them.

Seriously?

Dean had stolen the whole scene from that school the day he stepped on it. Lucifer must be boiling rage right now.

"I just don't attack him because I respect who wins a race against me and cause, you know, the rules." Lucifer exclaimed getting out of the bus as if he could read his thoughts.

"But he'll be on my blacklist next month. And it's not because you have a crush on him that I'm not going to be gentle"

"I don't have a crush on him"

Cas knew it was no use talking. The scene on the bus was enough for Lucifer to write a one-hundred-page mental report on gay flirtation. And Dean was not even gay.

"You could have fooled me!" Lucifer put on sunglasses just cause. He was extra like that

"I'm not gay, Lucifer!"

"Staying in the closet is so 2009. Moments like this it's all about ambiance and when I say ambience I mean music." He laughed so loudly that Cas's heart pounded with shame.

He wasn't out of the closet to anyone and definitely not Lucifer. Cas walked to his living room. Today was the literature class again. It was maybe the only class he had twice a week. He wasn't going to have music, so he could take time from seeing his dad.

Even at school he wasn't free from the accusatory stares.

When he entered the classroom he sent a brief glance at Dean who was already handing the homework over to the teacher. He took his from his backpack and put it on a pile just like the rest of the students. The teacher started to correct while the rest of the class was doing a new activity. At the end of the class something different happened.

Usually Mr. Singer would just return the , but this time he went to the middle of the classroom and said

"Dean Winchester?" Cas looked at Dean over his shoulder already imagining that it was some problem with his homework

"Can you come to the front of the class to read your text to us?" He gave his first smile of the day to Dean, who lowered his eyes and stared the floor embarrassed "Come on... Yesterday you were super spontaneous! I like your way, boy. You will go far."

Dean stood up slowly and got his paper from Singer's hand. He faced the whole class and read:

_Blue sea without water by Dean Winchester_

_You may not know it, but my favorite color is blue. And to be honest once I dived into a place that had the most beautiful blue. That would make every color in the world jealous because they would never be perfect like that. I stared at humanity that seemed so tiny from where I was, the wind freezing me to the bones reminded me that I was alive and somehow dead too. It was as if I had come back from the dead and was descending from the heaven again because God commanded it. I was not scared. I knew that if I followed all the instructions I would be safe and my hands would touch the silk clouds slowly. Have angels ever felt this way when they were expelled from paradise? I never knew one to ask it._

At each word Cas felt more attached to the moment. This was one of the best descriptions he had ever seen. It was as if he was there falling with Dean. He could feel the breeze as if he had jumped from an airplane. 

_Even when my feet reached the ground, my body still hungered for more. And everything was repeated when I came back again the other day._

Almost the whole room clapped. Skydiving? Wow. What hasn't Dean done yet?

"Congratulations. You should keep writing. Did you get any help?" He scratched the back of his neck and that made him look cute, at least that was what Cas thought.

"My parents are writers." The whole room began to collapse, asking a thousand questions. Dean answered each question excitedly and Cas wrote down mentally everything he could remember about him. His parents were horror book writers. Nothing like buying a "haunted" house to help with inspiration. And from what he understood, John and Mary Winchester, Dean's parents are well known in Kansas. their books were best-sellers and they were trying to create a TV show based on some of them.

Cas had already caught some glimpse of them on the TV news, but never paid too much attention to call the perfect couple of yesterday or that "Majo Winchester" was a pseudonym concerning the joining of their name. And that's where Dean's expensive clothes come from. He's from a rich family. And that's not the worst. He's rich and takes the school bus instead of driving a expensive car.

It's worse than that. He's living in the end of the world instead of New York or Paris.

Who the hell does that?

His lucky was going down the drain... It was unfair through Cas' eyes.

Cas decided he would ask a question too. It's not possible for a kid with money and famous parents to want to stay in a city at the end of the world living in a strange haunted house with a gloomy past and coming to a public school. You have no reason for that. He said his brother was in London. That one is clever, He went to a place a thousand times better than here.

Cas lifted his arm.

"Why did your parents decide to move here?"

Dean, who had been smiling so far, was startled by Cas's sudden question.

"They wanted to start a new life."

"They could start a brand new life anywhere. Why they chose this _shithole_? Your brother is in London, isn't he? Why are you not with him? Choosing this place in particular sounds like a stupid idea." Dean gritted his teeth. Cas had touched some wound.

"My parents wanted something more rural if you don't mind. They wanted more inspiration. Why are you being so rude?"

Cas was upset. Dean was too. Both of them were. The class was paralyzed.

"Got it, sunshine?"

"Oh, right! Very smart of you, assbutt" He only said that because sunshine in that sentence wasn't quite a compliment. Dean was being sarcastic.

"Have you been dumb since you were born or do you have a major in this field, Castiel?"

"Okay, That's enough." Mr. Singer shouted. Dean took a deep breath.

"Sorry, Bobby."

Bobby? When did they get so close?

Before Dean returned to his desk he stopped at Cas'.

"You should take care of what comes out of your mouth. There's a better way to revolt with life than screaming at me for being what you want." Dean said with a strong stare.

"Yes, I want you-" Cas thought without realizing it. He meant I want to be you. He corrected mentally himself "Be you. I want to be you."  It was the second time on the day that he found himself thinking about Dean like that.

Shit, it was Lucifer's fault for saying that he had a crush on Dean.

"You should show me some respect." Cas spat the words even after the teacher gave the warning to them to stop again. He was in love with the tension. The adrenaline rushing all over his body.

"And who's going to make me? We were getting along, Castiel, but you're going against what you don't know! I suggest slowing down, sunflower."

"Now I'm the sunflower and before I was the sunshine?" You have some pretty funny bad words."

"You like son of a bitch? I use this on special occasions and with special people." Cas narrowed his eyes

Dean was just wanting to get his attention, because there was no reason to call someone "sunshine" or "sunflower." Not if he was being serious. It was almost when you so fondly call someone a fool to not call son of a bitch.

He shook his head.

No, that didn't make sense. Dean didn't like him. Dean didn't like boys. They were not playing any flirting strange games. Cas was deluded or crazy. He probably should had been less aggressive with his rebellion against the world of the riches just because he wanted that too and was criticizing the way Dean spent his money.

Jesus, Cas... why the hell did you start this fight?

"I think we're done here." Dean said, his hand still on Cas' desk. He lifted his body that was leaned towards Castiel and followed the path back to his place.

The class was normal again. The only difference was that Cas was in denial. He didn't want to believe he was having a crush on him. Of all the people he could have said "No, this one I can like" he had been caught by his own trap. His brother was right. What was happening was that Castiel was trying to deceive himself as to how he felt.

Not just for Dean, but for the rest of boys who one day he had these same thoughts.

 


End file.
